A young woman learns that she has inherited a Texas estate from her deceased grandmother. After embarking on a road trip with friends to uncover her roots, she finds she is the sole owner of a lavish, isolated Victorian mansion. But her newfound wealth comes at a price as she stumbles upon a horror that awaits her in the mansion’s dank cellars.
every cliché in modern horror movies rolled up into a painful hour and a half
John Luessenhop's Texas Chainsaw 3D is a bad, bad movie. You know this. I know this. Unfortunately the producers and studio that backed this latest incarnation of Tobe Hooper's original genre-creating slasher film ignored what we, the audience, already knew, and decided to milk the franchise-cow for the sixth (and hopefully, final) time.
This new reimagining (as Hollywood likes to call it) starts off promising with archive footage of the original film. That was the first five minutes. After that, the movie spirals into unexplained and implausible territory, asking its audience not only to suspend disbelief, but disregard it completely.
The 2012 version of Texas Chainsaw is a direct sequel of the original, with the prologue taking place in 1974. Vigilantes show up at the infamous Sawyer home where the murders of several young adults literally just happened and proceed to torch it to the ground in a fit of vengeance. Amongst the chaos, a young Sawyer woman with an infant is found hiding in the garage. Then, in a laughably inane act of kindness followed by harsh brutality, one of the vigilantes saves the baby girl and randomly kicks the Sawyer woman square in the face.
If there was anything 2011's The Cabin in the Woods has taught us, it's that ridiculously attractive young adults will always venture out to parts unknown for no reason and behave in ways normal human beings would never agree to in real life given eerie circumstances.
Cut to Heather Mills (starring Alexandra Daddario's midriff and breasts). She finds out she inherited a home in Texas after her previously unknown grandma passed away while simultaneously discovering she's adopted. Usually this would tear at the soul of a normal person, being lied to your entire life by people you thought were your parents, but no. Heather's first instinct is to collect on her inheritance by dragging along her boyfriend, Ryan (Tremaine 'Trey Songz' Neverson), her best friend, Nicole (Tania Raymonde), and Nicole's boy toy (Keram Malicki-Sanchez) on an impromptu road trip. Along the way, they pick up a hitchhiker named Darryl (Shaun Sipos), apparently to add to the inevitable body count.
Texas Chainsaw fails to mention the time discrepancy as the original film took place in the 1970s and this new film clearly states it's 2012. Heather should be pushing 40, but no bother. In a movie like this, the only thing that matters is the gore, the scantily clad women, and the infamy of the original.
To read the rest of the review (IMDb form too short) visit: http://custodianfilmcritic.com/Texas- chainsaw-3d/
Reviewed by nogodnomasters7 / 10
DO YOUR THING CUZ
This is one of the weirdest, unexpected sequels since Halloween 3. The film opens with a quick flashback and picks up exactly where the last one leaves off. The police, along with some vigilantes torch the Sawyer house with the murdering cannibals inside. A little girl is saved and raised by one of the vigilantes. Now that she is grown, (Alexandra Daddario) Heather discovers she is adopted and the sole heir to the Sawyer plantation in Texas.
She travels there with 3 college mates and picks up a person along the way, because the unwritten code of a Texas Chainsaw movie is the hitchhiker/rider. As it turns out, she is not the only heir left and you come to sympathize with the cannibal with a chainsaw.
The film has its share of severed bodies, blood, and gore. The 3D action is climaxed with a chainsaw tossed at the camera. Remember this is a sequel. Keep the expectations low.
Parental Guide: F-bombs. Implied sex. No nudity. Tania Raymonde bra/panties. Alexandra Daddario open shirt cleavage...and how did her shirt become buttoned shut once it was ripped open?
Reviewed by Leofwine_draca4 / 10
Fast paced but cheesy
Texas Chainsaw is the latest movie in the long-running series and a film that aims to be a direct sequel to the Tobe Hooper original, pretty much discounting the various others that have come along since. To be honest, these movies have such a gruelling premise that it's difficult to go wrong with them; a premise that screams horror and disturbing imagery all the way, so you'd have to be a really bad filmmaker to screw it up.
This film feels very much like a modern horror movie. It's incredibly fast paced, with action going on all the while; a film filled to the brim with chase scenes, quick-fire dialogue and constant movement. It ups the gore quotient considerably, so that we're subject to bodies being chainsawed in half and the like, while at the same time the genuinely disturbing atmosphere of the first film is long forgotten. It's horrible, but not horrifying. There's something cartoon-like about watching Leatherface on the rampage here.
Unfortunately, the story does take some very silly twists along the way, particularly towards the climax, and the ending is very poor. Not only does it feature a horrible bit of CGI effects work, it mixes up and muddles its morals and features some unbelievable behaviour on the part of the characters. I had the feeling things would turn out this way but it's too abrupt and nonsensical compared to what's come before, the tone is all wrong.
Still, it's not all bad. The cast are young and hip, and give some not-bad performances although they don't really wow you. The person making the least impact is Scott Eastwood; you register him as Clint's son from appearance alone, and certainly not from acting talent. Still, Alexandra Daddario is fine as a potential scream queen and it's nice to see her given the opportunity to shine in a leading role after playing support in the likes of PERCY JACKSON AND THE LIGHTNING THIEF. The direction isn't too bad, and the early scenes tying it into the original work well, but this is light, cheesy and forgettable fluff in the end, nothing more.